Hi YouTips4U: I love your blogspot and advice and I'm hoping you can help me with a new situation in my life. My daughter has been living with a boy at college. She is coming home for Columbus Day weekend and is bringing him along. I am not happy that they are living together. What should I do about the sleeping arrangements while they are in my home? I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable about coming home to visit me. What do you suggest?
YouTips4U Answer: You have every right to set the rules in your home and they should not feel slighted or uncomfortable about them. Before they come for a visit, speak with your daughter over the phone and let her know what the sleeping arrangements will be during their visit. Be sure you tell her your excited that she is coming for a visit and that you're looking forward to getting to know her boyfriend better. Tell her that she can stay in her old room and that her boyfriend can stay in the guest room. It really doesn't matter what their arrangement is together at school, when in your house, they live by your rules. It is important to do this before they arrive. It would be uncomfortable for all involved to discuss it when they walk in the door so don't put it off. Your daughter will respect your wishes and if she doesn't, hold your ground.
I hope the weekend will be a wonderful one. It's a first, and firsts are always hard, but by the time Thanksgiving roles around, you will have your routine set and won't have to worry about what to do and she will know what to expect and all can be happy and enjoy turkey dinner together :o)