Wednesday, March 16, 2016

My Husband's Ex Wants To See Him

Question:  Hi YouTips4U, I love your videos on Body Language and I'm hoping you can answer a relationship question for me.  My husband's college girlfriend, whom he was quite serious with, is coming into town for a visit and wants to have dinner with him so they can catch up. He asked me if it's o.k. with me, but I'm not sure what to say to him. My stomach does turn when I think about it and I'm uneasy, but I'm not sure whether I'm just being petty and should say it's fine.  Can you give me your opinion? Thanks, Sue

Answer:  Hi Sue, thanks for your question and I'll definitely try to help. I understand how you would feel uncomfortable about this.  I'm sure you're thinking that if you trust him completely you shouldn't have a problem saying yes to his question.  I do think trust is essential in a relationship, however, there are instances and circumstances that could be harmful to your relationship.  The risk may not be worth taking and you don't want to give yourself anxiety about this.  I think you can suggest something else to your husband and show good faith.  Why don't you and your husband go out with her as a couple.  He should want to introduce you to her. And why dinner? I think lunch would be better! It's daytime and brighter and friendlier.  You could also suggest having her over to your home for dinner.  I think it will show that you are willing to accommodate their friendship but not to the point where it's just him and her together alone for dinner.  If he doesn't like your suggestions, then perhaps you should ask him how he would feel if you went out to dinner with an old flame if the roles were reversed.  If he doesn't take you up on your offer to meet her as a couple, then you should probably tell him you're not comfortable with him meeting up with his ex alone, and that's that!  To me it just doesn't seem worth the risk.  I hope I could help. Good luck :)
  - YouTips4U


  1. Excellent advice, Youtips4U! I absolutely agree with you and would have said the same thing myself. Good job (makes thumbs up sign) :)